Everything I Want to Hear

NOTE: Readers, although this post precedes that which lays out all the events of the evening during which this post occurred, I find that this particular situation deserves a post of it's own. For the broad picture check out the next post. For everything I've ever wanted to hear, read on.

I think I met the love of my life.

Wait, maybe we should back up a little bit.

OK, so I'm a girl, right? And guys always think that every girl can get whatever guy she wants, right? Well, there are some girls who do that: go out to bars, pick up guys, go home with them and that's that. That girl, however, is not me.

I walk on eggshells. I know that most of the bar world does not behave like I do. I know that because I'm female most guys will just try to sleep with me instead of talk about cool stuff, which is what I like to do... ok, and flirt too. I know I'm not stupid, I know I'm not easy, I know what to look for. I know to look to see if the guy is checking out other girls, I know within two minutes of talking to someone what their intentions are, and I'm not afraid to call you out on your shit.

I also know how to play the game, the getting-to-know-you game. I ask the "What are your top 5 favorite movies of all time" question on the second date, I don't tell people I lived abroad or like baseball or know all the rules to football or like beer unless they ask. If you're a guy out at a bar and want to play the get to know you game, I'll dance around with you all night long, toss a bone here and there, and spend most of the time sitting back in my mind being amused at the situation. I've been single for three years so I'm really good at this game. I find it amusing.

Since I've been back from Los Angeles I've had a trememdous ability to go out to a bar, scout the crowd, pick out one guy, think "I will take him, thanks" and succeed. It's amazing. What it really is, however, is knowing what you want and being confident enough that you're confident enough in your decision that you will acheive your objective. For some reason, at a bar, I know who I am, I know what I want. Last night I found it, a 110% match.

My friend Laura and I sat at a bar adorned in our Nationals gear, which seems to trump spaghetti-strapped tank tops as "best thing to wear to a bar and get attention from guys." I turned around and saw a good looking guy behind us. "Nice shirt," he said and smiled at me. I was wearing my fashionista baseball shit - a 2001 Capitol Hill little league Expos shirt that is so incredibly awesome these days.

The Scoring: Alli: 1 Boy: 0. Tactic: Awesome baseball shirt.

"Are you a Nats fan?" he asked.
"O's fan." I said. *insert reason-why-blah-blah-here. "Who's your team?"
"The Yankees."

The Scoring: Alli: 2. Boy: -55 Tactic: Alli's amazing explaination as to why she likes the Orioles. Boy - liking the Yankees.

"No, but listen," he said.

The scoring: Alli: 2. Boy: -109. Reason: Boy's defensive explaination as to why he's a Yankees fan.

I laugh. "What?!" I ask. "You're just like every other Yanks fan! You say you're a fan and when someone gives you a look of disgust you act all defensive. We just hate you, get over it, ok?"

The scoring: Alli: 89. Boy: -109. Reason: I am so awesome and know exactly what I'm talking about.

I let him finish his lame reason - he grew up in Louisiana and they only got two stations on the TV, and one of them broadcast the Yankees and - that's when I cut him off. Pathetic. And that's when his friend walked up.

His name is John. He is taller than me. He has brown hair. He has light eyes. He has a great smile. He is not wearing a polo shirt or button-down. He is wearing a T-shirt from Belgium. He is drinking a beer. He is smoking Parliament Lights.
"Hi Alli," he says.
"Hi..." I say and smile.
"Alli's a baseball fan," Mark says, steps away and walks back to his other friends.
"Oh yeah?" John asks. "Who's your team? The Nats? I like your shirt by the way.

The scoring: I don't even know. At first glance he's beating me by far. But then again it seems I don't even have to say anything and have already banked some points. It goes on like this for over an hour.

NOTE: What follows is the honest to God truth. If this were fiction, however, and I were to tell you about the perfect boy I met at a bar, I don't even think I could come up with a description this good. The catch is, this boy is real. I think. I hope.

"So, Alli. What do you do?" he asks.
"What do I do for money, or what do I do for... real?"
"Both."
"I make over-priced espresso drinks for yuppies,"I tell him, "and I write. And I want to run a theatre or something. What do you do for fun and money?"
"Well," he says, "What I do for money is what I do for fun."
"Really?"
"Yeah."
"You're so lucky," I say.
"I know," he says.
"So.. what do you do."
"I assitant produce shows for Redskins radio," he says.
I freeze. "What?! Are you serious??"
"Yup. I have to wake up at 8 to get to the scrimmage tomorrow."
"Oh my god."
"I have weekly phone interviews with Joe Gibbs."
"I think I just fell in love with you," I said.

But there's more. He went to Dickinson and got a degree in Philosophy. "It's even more useless than your degree," he says. He adds, "All I do is sit around and think about things and write all day."

Scoring: Alli: lost already.

He asks, "What was the last book you read?" I think, man I'd ask this question to guys in LA all the time and most of them said they don't even read books. I tell him my answer. He asks if I have read Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs. I say it's next on my list. He says I'll love it, I can borrow his copy.

I turn to my friend Laura to make sure she is watching this unfold and at least hearing part of the conversation. John turns back to his friend before turning back and grabbing my arm. "I'm really sorry, Alli," he says, "But... you're just... I mean.. it's so nice to... I mean... you're not... stupid. It's so refreshing!" I laugh.

"Do you feel old being 24?" he asks.
I laugh. "Oh lord, yes," I say.
"So do I. It's like everything I thought my life would be like at 24 is not the case now."
"I know exactly what you're talking about," I say.
"Where did you used to see yourself at 24?" he asked.
"Well, I thought... I thought my life would be beginning," I said. "You know... a job I cared about... not making stupid coffee for people... and... I mean, I want - or wanted kids - by the time I'm 30, but that's so soon now..." I continued, "And I want to married a while before I have kids..."
"I want to be married 5 years before I have kids," he says.
"Yeah, that sounds about right," I say, "But that's like, 25, and I want to be in a relationship for at least two years before I get married so that, well, that was like last April!" We both laugh.
"My parents got married two weeks after they met," he said.
"That's insane."
"They've been together ever since."
"That's more insane."

... And then there comes a point in the get-to-know-you dance when you realize everything you could ask is worth the risk and you don't have to play the dance around game anymore. This is one of those times.

THE Q & A SECTION:

A: Tell me your top five favorite movies.
J: American Beauty, Royal Tenenbaums, Raising Arizona (and two others I forget)
A: Good. Nice, nice.
He asks me mine but I can't remember the last two. This is because my mind has been blown.

A: OK let me ask you this. From what you know of me, what would you say my last two favorites are?
J: Thinks for a while. Um... The Big Lebowski....
A: Oh my God... and....?
J: Uh... High Fidelity.
A: You're incredible.

After graduation he lived in: New York. London.
In college he studied abroad in: India.
He's traveled to: All 7 continents. "I was in Chile and took a ferry to Antarctica just to say I did it. I saw penguins and shit. It was really cool."
His family has: had season tickets to all Washington sports teams' games going back three generations.
Since the age of one: he has never missed a Redskins/Cowboys game. Except that time he was in London.

"Alli, look," he says to me about a half hour after we meet, "I know this is... this is weird but I have to just ask. What are you doing on Sunday?"
"Um nothing."
"OK, look, the Daily Grill in Georgetown has half price bottles of wine Sunday nights. Come split one with me?"
"Absolutely. Yes." I turn back to Laura. She has heard this. I mouth, oh my GOD. She smiles.

At some point his friend leans in and asks if I want a beer. I say sure, I'll take a Yuengling. He grabs John's hand. "Dude," he says, "Did you hear what she just ordered?"
"No."
"A Yuengling!" Mark says.
John turns to me. "I'm sorry but I'm totally in love with you."
"I'm OK with that," I say.

So after we establish that we have almost everything in common and can't stop gawking at each other he looks me dead in the eyes and says, I want to know everything about you. He starts firing away:

J: What are the top 5 best albums of all time?
A: The best or my favorite?
J: Your best.
I'm glad he understands the difference between the best and my favorites.

J: When you order chinese food, what do you get?
A: Shrimp with brocolli. You?
J: Noodles. I like noodles.
A: They're good. I'm a vegetarian though, so I can't get the good stuff.
J: So am I.
A: What?
J: I'm a vegetarian.
A: You're kidding me.
J: No. Got in to it in India.
A: You're unreal.

Now it must be said that this last part took place after he kissed me. I HATE kissing people in bars. Apparently he does too because when we stopped we both looked around and laughed and apologized to one another.

He left the bar earlier than I did (because I closed it out and stayed there til 4am, but that's a story for the next blog), kissed me again, got my number and promised to call on Sunday. Not only that, but he wants to pick me up which is insane because he lives in NOVA and I live in Maryland.

After he left I turned to Laura.
"What just happened dude??" I asked her.
"I dunno man," she said, "I think you just met the love of your life." We smile at each other and reach back towards our beer, not knowing when we left for the night what would be in store for us, and what would come.


It's like this... for 24 years you make a list of everything you want and it changes all the time but gets more and more specific. Some moments everything matches up and you can run down a list and check off each little box and say, yes, I got it all. But then tomorrow the list might be gone, or maybe you wrote the details down incorrectly. Even so, though, it's nice to know that for a moment, an hour or two, on some random day it all makes sense and you can't help but think, yes, this is it, and all you can do now is cross your fingers and wait to see what happens next.