August and Everything
Up until this past Tuesday I thought it was July. Though I think I thought it was Monday on Tuesday and I definitely thought yesterday was Friday. I'm not sure what is going on.
I do know that all of a sudden it's August and I still think it's July. Or June.
And I know that yesterday I ran errands at 4:30pm, when I finally started my day, and I listened to a football game - of all things - on the radio.
I also know that when I was listening to aforementioned football game while I sat in the car that I'm borrowing at the intersection of East-West Highway and 16th Street, for one second (or maybe a minute) I was convinced I had the heat on, that if I opened my door it would be freezing cold outside and I honest to god thought, man the sun is setting early these days. It's totally November.
Luckily it's not Novemeber, it's still August. At least for a couple more weeks.
"When do your classes start, Ann?" I asked my friend on our way to Georgetown last night.
"The 29th" she said.
"So," I pulled out my cell phone - my only time telling device - "OK, so it's the 14th. That's two weeks dude. Dude... that's the end of the month. That's so soon."
You see, Ann and I were in her car driving - of all things - to Georgetown on a - of all times - Saturday night. Neither of us even likes Georgetown. This was quite evident by our tense silence, irritation at the traffic and little argument we got into when we finally found a place to park.
The reason we were in Georgetown on such a god awfully hot summer (August, actually) night is that Ann is going back to school and wanted to hang out with one of her friends who works down there. I was along for the ride because I love Ann, and I can't believe it's August and she's leaving.
What happened to the time?
So we park after we drive down Wisconsin Avenue, me playing DJ, her in her Gringos T-shirt she got in Haight-Ashbury and my in my $2 Salvation Army T shirt. Everyone else was so fancy in black and lace. I do not like Georgetown, but I love Ann.
We sat in a boiling hot bar. I was quiet most of the time, watching her with her friends from college. We said good-bye to them, I walked her to her car, she drove me back up to the intersection of Wisconsin and M and dropped me off. I hugged her good-bye, told her I loved her, she said I have to come visit her this year, I said I can't believe she's leaving, told her I love her again and shut the door. We've been through this a million times. It's not even a real good-bye.
But I shut her door, and stood there on Wisconsin Avenue with all the over-dressed crazy rich kids feeling really out of place and couldn't help but think, it's August?!
So I walked to another bar where I met up with a new friend and his old friends and drank some more and there was air conditioning and I text messaged my friend Laura who was in Adams Morgan where it's a little rougher around the edges and a lot more like home.
And I thought about how I ran out the door to meet Ann earlier that night so I could say good-bye to her really good friend Meghann who I became buds with this summer.
"Meghann really wants to see you, Alli, can you get here soon?" Ann said to me.
But I was interrupted in my rush to get out the door by an instant message from my friend in Los Angeles who could say nothing but, where are you? I need you here. I'm going to a toga party for a major talent agency and I need a wingman. You're so good at this shit, where are you?
And I hadn't talked to this friend in months.
And my other friend is in Telluride and I hardly even realized she left.
And my friend in Florida just booked a plane ticket to come visit me one year after we last saw each other.
And my friend Josh wanted to talk to me about shorts and steaks and Federal Hill but I was running late to see Meghann and say good-bye to Ann and get to Georgetown. Josh lives 10 minutes away from me. I haven't seen him since I've been home.
Around 2:30am I was walking across the Key Bridge with my new friend and his old friend. They talked and talked. I said nothing. Nothing at all. I looked at the Washington Monument. I looked at the Potomac. I looked up at Rosslyn. I touched the stone that divided the three of us from the cars that whizzed by. It was hot, humid, I was sweaty. All I could think was, where am I, what I am doing, and how is it already August?
It hits me really hard sometimes, this "where am I, what on earth am I doing" feeling. I always want to just stop moving for one second and have the whole world stop with me so I can take a brief inventory.
It's August. You don't have any money. You are living at home with your parents. You've met a ton of new people this summer. You've reunited with random old friends and acquaintences. You've hardly hung out with your best friends because you don't even know what day it is let alone what month it is. You're standing on the Key Bridge. That is the Potomac. Yes, you grew up here. No, you don't know how you got back here. Yes, you don't really know where you are going. No, you don't really know the people you are with. Yes, it is OK. Yes, you will be fine. Yes, it's August. Yes, that was a football game, that was Georgetown, Ann left, it is really hot and you are going to be ok.
I do know that all of a sudden it's August and I still think it's July. Or June.
And I know that yesterday I ran errands at 4:30pm, when I finally started my day, and I listened to a football game - of all things - on the radio.
I also know that when I was listening to aforementioned football game while I sat in the car that I'm borrowing at the intersection of East-West Highway and 16th Street, for one second (or maybe a minute) I was convinced I had the heat on, that if I opened my door it would be freezing cold outside and I honest to god thought, man the sun is setting early these days. It's totally November.
Luckily it's not Novemeber, it's still August. At least for a couple more weeks.
"When do your classes start, Ann?" I asked my friend on our way to Georgetown last night.
"The 29th" she said.
"So," I pulled out my cell phone - my only time telling device - "OK, so it's the 14th. That's two weeks dude. Dude... that's the end of the month. That's so soon."
You see, Ann and I were in her car driving - of all things - to Georgetown on a - of all times - Saturday night. Neither of us even likes Georgetown. This was quite evident by our tense silence, irritation at the traffic and little argument we got into when we finally found a place to park.
The reason we were in Georgetown on such a god awfully hot summer (August, actually) night is that Ann is going back to school and wanted to hang out with one of her friends who works down there. I was along for the ride because I love Ann, and I can't believe it's August and she's leaving.
What happened to the time?
So we park after we drive down Wisconsin Avenue, me playing DJ, her in her Gringos T-shirt she got in Haight-Ashbury and my in my $2 Salvation Army T shirt. Everyone else was so fancy in black and lace. I do not like Georgetown, but I love Ann.
We sat in a boiling hot bar. I was quiet most of the time, watching her with her friends from college. We said good-bye to them, I walked her to her car, she drove me back up to the intersection of Wisconsin and M and dropped me off. I hugged her good-bye, told her I loved her, she said I have to come visit her this year, I said I can't believe she's leaving, told her I love her again and shut the door. We've been through this a million times. It's not even a real good-bye.
But I shut her door, and stood there on Wisconsin Avenue with all the over-dressed crazy rich kids feeling really out of place and couldn't help but think, it's August?!
So I walked to another bar where I met up with a new friend and his old friends and drank some more and there was air conditioning and I text messaged my friend Laura who was in Adams Morgan where it's a little rougher around the edges and a lot more like home.
And I thought about how I ran out the door to meet Ann earlier that night so I could say good-bye to her really good friend Meghann who I became buds with this summer.
"Meghann really wants to see you, Alli, can you get here soon?" Ann said to me.
But I was interrupted in my rush to get out the door by an instant message from my friend in Los Angeles who could say nothing but, where are you? I need you here. I'm going to a toga party for a major talent agency and I need a wingman. You're so good at this shit, where are you?
And I hadn't talked to this friend in months.
And my other friend is in Telluride and I hardly even realized she left.
And my friend in Florida just booked a plane ticket to come visit me one year after we last saw each other.
And my friend Josh wanted to talk to me about shorts and steaks and Federal Hill but I was running late to see Meghann and say good-bye to Ann and get to Georgetown. Josh lives 10 minutes away from me. I haven't seen him since I've been home.
Around 2:30am I was walking across the Key Bridge with my new friend and his old friend. They talked and talked. I said nothing. Nothing at all. I looked at the Washington Monument. I looked at the Potomac. I looked up at Rosslyn. I touched the stone that divided the three of us from the cars that whizzed by. It was hot, humid, I was sweaty. All I could think was, where am I, what I am doing, and how is it already August?
It hits me really hard sometimes, this "where am I, what on earth am I doing" feeling. I always want to just stop moving for one second and have the whole world stop with me so I can take a brief inventory.
It's August. You don't have any money. You are living at home with your parents. You've met a ton of new people this summer. You've reunited with random old friends and acquaintences. You've hardly hung out with your best friends because you don't even know what day it is let alone what month it is. You're standing on the Key Bridge. That is the Potomac. Yes, you grew up here. No, you don't know how you got back here. Yes, you don't really know where you are going. No, you don't really know the people you are with. Yes, it is OK. Yes, you will be fine. Yes, it's August. Yes, that was a football game, that was Georgetown, Ann left, it is really hot and you are going to be ok.
posted by AllDeTime at 10:36 AM
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