Another Open Letter/A Rant-ette
Dear Rich Bethesda People Who Do Not Frequent the Corporate Coffee Shop Where I Work, but Occassionally Drop by to be a Pain in Our Asses,
Believe it or not they pay me to do my job. This means I get a pay check for knowing how to do whatever you ask me. Therefore, when you lean in and widen your eyes and talk. really. slowly. like. i. might. not. have. ever. heard. the. word. latte. ever before in my life, and ask me to *gasp* make your drink which is a (this is where you get really clever and those wide eyes of your start to twinkle like, oh gosh, you're gonna get that Barista this time, aren'tcha?!): TRIPLE SHOT. MOCHA. TWO PUMP. LOW-FAT MILK. NOOOOOOOOOOO WHIP!!!!! EXTRA HOT. you needn't be surprised that I know exactly what the fuck you're talking about. But, as your eyes return to their normal size and you go back to clutching your Coach bag and your diamond engagement ring glints in the sunlight and gosh, thank god you're going to at least get your coffee right YOU THINK - because you ordered it just the right way - I have to say that I really really enjoy the look on your face when I simply say, OK, and what size asshole-specific drink did you want that to be? Your chuckle of discomfort at the realization that you just tried to fuck with the wrong Barista really makes me feel good about myself. Moron.
With love and lovely lattes,
Alli
Believe it or not they pay me to do my job. This means I get a pay check for knowing how to do whatever you ask me. Therefore, when you lean in and widen your eyes and talk. really. slowly. like. i. might. not. have. ever. heard. the. word. latte. ever before in my life, and ask me to *gasp* make your drink which is a (this is where you get really clever and those wide eyes of your start to twinkle like, oh gosh, you're gonna get that Barista this time, aren'tcha?!): TRIPLE SHOT. MOCHA. TWO PUMP. LOW-FAT MILK. NOOOOOOOOOOO WHIP!!!!! EXTRA HOT. you needn't be surprised that I know exactly what the fuck you're talking about. But, as your eyes return to their normal size and you go back to clutching your Coach bag and your diamond engagement ring glints in the sunlight and gosh, thank god you're going to at least get your coffee right YOU THINK - because you ordered it just the right way - I have to say that I really really enjoy the look on your face when I simply say, OK, and what size asshole-specific drink did you want that to be? Your chuckle of discomfort at the realization that you just tried to fuck with the wrong Barista really makes me feel good about myself. Moron.
With love and lovely lattes,
Alli
posted by AllDeTime at 10:09 PM
1 Comments:
My friend Rosa worked at the Bethesda Jaleo for a while. She said Bethesda people would always treat her like she was stupid because of her accent.
On the phone, when she told them that Jaleo doesn't take reservations, they'd say in a huffy voice, "Can I talk to someone who speaks English?!" Her English is fine, by the way.
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